FREAKS! I’ve been DYING to debut this sick skirt and python bag on my blog and I finally got my shit together and…TADA! Okay, as for that skirt, I scored that printed beauty at Pinko during my trip to Milan. My friend Helena and I were meandering around Italy’s most infamous shopping vein — Via della Spiga — and we stumbled upon a store called Pinko. I fell in love with almost every item in the store — with this ethnic-printed midi skirt being one of the winner-winner-chicken-dinners. Like, obsessed.org with it! Unfortunately for us gringos, Pinko is not available in the U.S. — alas, another reason to get my ass back to Milano ASAP!

As for that metallic python bag ssss-slithering on the scene, it’s by Miami-based designer Ximena Kavalekas. I recently visited her serpentine-swathed showroom in Downtown Miami (990 Biscayne Blvd., 4th Floor, Miami; (305) 905-3693) and bought her infamous box bag — Sofia Vergara has the exact same one. So, naturally, I bought it because it’s:

A) Unique. Gorgeous. A conversation piece. NOT ANOTHER CHANEL BAG. #NotBasic

B) That Sofia V. connection…well, that Colombian sexpot is LIFE and she’s a perfect 10 and she’s actually married to my imaginary husband, Joe Maganiello so that means where kinda connected now, right? Like, totally.

Speaking of Colombians, I’m knee deep in a Narcos Netflix marathon and I find myself having inappropriate feelings for Pablo Escobar — a NOTORIOUS MURDER/DRUG LORD/COCAINE COWBOY. I’m 8 episodes in and I often times find the pudgy protagonist sexy AF. WTF…I KNOW! Bizarre-o. Perhaps I should keep that clandestine secret to myself. WHATEVER. JUDGE. #LoveMyHusbandButPabloIsWeirdlyCharming

Watch and see what I mean…because no one brings the crazy quite like Pablo — the meanie from Medellín.

{Soft Joie chambray shirt, Pinko skirt, Aquazzura heels, Ximena Kavalekas box bag, Célinesunnies}

Photos by Karla Garcia